It’s only in the last few years that I’ve felt the weight of my age, gravity having its way with me, sack of potatoes in my belly, all the signs of entropy. Mirror gazing is a problem, seeing the real you, reflection the only way to face denial of life, lucky you, all that life, blossom of you, hard rack of bones carrying on and on. How all those heartaches and tears have wriggled into your saggy skin, how all those amazing joys and laugh out loud moments have kept you sane, how all the sadness and worries of a ridiculous world of possible magic has left you on your knees praying to a phantom god or goddess. My 70th year as been a milestone. I feel that finally I’m settled into my own skin, I am not my mum or dad, I am who I always was, a part of my ancestral family and my own truth. All that searching for love and approval from others, oh my! What a weight that has been, all that beating myself up for not feeling good enough. Well, time to fly and let as much of that go, send it to the moon and sun, I can feel my new skin, a rebirth of realisations. Oh how lucky I am to finally be able to say No and not compromise my power to anyone else, how lucky am I after 70 years to be able to walk my path of beauty. Heh, I’m not saying it’s easy and how much loss that’s involved, it’s been like torture and I still pine for all my so called buddies whose hands are lost to me now. But how else would I have come to know my shadow side, how else. And let’s remember the pain body how it remembers everything. Ouch!
The last few years have been a revelation to me. Since my wizard entered my life and accepts me for everything that I am, even though we battle with our emotional baggage we hold hearts together and we are blessed with strong feet that make us tall in our true voices. Oh how lucky we are. My process has enabled me to dance like Billy Elliot, to splash paint on a canvas, to use my eyes to photograph wonders, to conjure poetry on to white space, to have them published and to stand up in front of you all and bring my truth to you all.